Why is it that men often heard phrases like “man up” or “boys don’t cry“, which became part of everyday language. This is a training given to young boys on suppressing their emotions and embracing toughness. These seemingly harmless phrases develop a rigid framework, which is rooted in aggression, emotional suppression, and dominance, further leading to ‘toxic masculinity‘.
It not only just harms men, but ripples through relationships, workplaces, and entire societies. It is high time to challenge toxic masculinity together but not just tearing down masculinity, but also by building a version that lifts everyone up, one empathetic step at a time.
What Is Toxic Masculinity?
Over the time, the definition of harmful masculinity has evolved. However, hypermasculinity refers to a collection of offensive, harmful beliefs, tendencies, and behaviors rooted in traditional male roles but taken to an extreme.
This dangerous idea of “manliness” perpetuates domination, homophobia, and aggression and can be harmful to the mental health of all genders. It also can have serious social consequences, which is how it became known as masculine toxicity.
A set of cultural norms pressuring men to conform to outdated, harmful standards of “manliness.”
A study in the Journal of School of Psychology uses the following definition to explain toxic masculinity: “the constellation of socially regressive [masculine] traits that serve to foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia, and wanton violence.”
In modern society, people often use the term unhealthy masculinity to describe exaggerated masculine traits that many cultures have widely accepted or glorified.
Origins and Historical Context
Aggressive masculinity didn’t appear out of nowhere. Societal norms that evolved over centuries shaped the roots of this issue. Historically, society assigned men roles as providers and protectors – stoic warriors who prioritized survival over emotions. Wars, industrial revolutions, and patriarchal systems reinforced these ideals, glorifying traits like aggression and dominance while equating emotional expression with weakness.
The term “toxic masculinity” originated in the mythopoetic men’s movement of the 1980s and 1990s. It later found wide use in both academic and popular writing. Popular and media discussions in the 2010s have used the term to refer to traditional and stereotypical norms of masculinity and manhood.
Key Characteristics of Toxic Gender Norms
Manipulative masculine norms has multiple characteristics to recognize and be careful about, such as;
Emotional Suppression
Boys are often taught that showing vulnerability is a weakness. From an early age, they’re conditioned to suppress emotions, with phrases like, “Stop crying, Be a man.” This type of emotional bottling-up more often results in frustration, anger. However, emotional breakdowns or violent outbursts are seen in extreme cases,
Aggression and Violence
Aggression is wrongly portrayed as a measure of masculinity. Whether it’s physical fights in schools or confrontational leadership styles at work, being “tough” is often glorified. Media and pop culture reinforce this by celebrating male characters who resort to violence to solve problems.
Dominance and Control
Society equates masculinity with power and control. This manifests in the workplace, where men often feel pressured to adopt authoritarian leadership styles, and in relationships, where toxic dynamics can emerge due to the need to “wear the pants.”
Disdain for Femininity
Anything perceived as “feminine” is often ridiculed. Men who show compassion, nurture, or enjoy activities stereotypically associated with women are labeled as “weak” or “soft.” This disdain not only reinforces harmful stereotypes but also perpetuates gender inequality.
Psychological Impact
It may have the following impacts:
Mental Health Consequences
Suppressing emotions has serious mental health consequences. Societal pressures expect men to be stoic and “strong,” making them less likely to seek help for mental issues such as depression or anxiety. Unsurprisingly, suicide rates among men are alarmingly high, and much of it stems from unresolved emotional struggles.
Internalized Toxic Masculinity
When men internalize these harmful ideals, they often become their own harshest critics. This internal conflict leads to feelings of inadequacy, fear of judgment, and difficulty forming meaningful connections.
Men tend to keep so much bottled up inside. This includes all the traumas and heart-breaking moments. Eventually there has to be a release. And too often that is in an explosive way.
— Ron Blake, Social Justice Activist, Public Speaker
Pressure to Conform
Men have an immense pressure to conform to the rigid standards of the society. Those men who fail to comply with these norms often get alienated or judged, which results as feelings of estrangement.
Harmful Masculinity in Society
The effects of toxic masculinity ripple far beyond individual men, influencing relationships, workplaces, and culture at large
Strained Relationships
Toxic masculine behavior discourages men from being emotionally available, leading to communication breakdowns in relationships. Due to the lack of vulnerability, their partners often feel disconnected and issues stay unresolved giving rise to conflicts.
Workplace Tensions
At the workplace, toxic masculinity fosters competitive and authoritarian environments. Collaboration and empathy take a backseat, often stifling creativity and inclusivity.
Cultural Reinforcement
Movies, TV shows, and advertisements often glorify these ideals. The action hero who never cries or the businessman who uses intimidation to succeed are cultural staples that reinforce harmful behaviors.
Effect on Boys and Adolescents
Boys from an early age, hearing statements like “be a man”. This eventually leads to bullying specifically for those who don’t easily fit in traditional molds. They have a pressure to conform with the societal demands impacting their self-esteem, healthy friendships, and overall wellness.
The Role of Social Media and Online Communities
Social media amplifies these toxic ideals. Platforms become echo chambers where aggressive or hyper-masculine behaviors are glorified, further embedding these harmful stereotypes in the minds of young boys.
Challenging and Unlearning Manipulative Masculine Behavior
In order to get rid of masculine dysfunction, the foremost essential thing to do is to:
Embrace Healthy Masculinity
The things which come under healthy masculinity include compassion, empathy and vulnerability. It is simply allowing men to redefine themselves without any kind of societal pressure.
Educate Early
Schools and communities play a pivotal role in redefining masculinity. Teaching boys emotional intelligence, respect, and the harm of stereotypes can dismantle toxic norms from an early age. You can get free tests from the emotional intelligence toolkit.
Support Men’s Mental Health
Providing safe spaces for men to express their feelings is crucial. Support groups, and mental health campaigns tailored to men’s needs can make a significant difference.
Therapy and Mental Health Support
Therapy can do wonders in bringing stability to your mental health by using different forms of therapy. These may comprise group sessions, psychotherapy and mental health initiatives to help men in unlearning the unhealthy harmful behaviors.
Community-Based Change
Grassroots initiatives can redefine masculinity by creating programs that promote emotional well-being and prevent burnout, collaboration, and mutual respect.
Promote Gender Equity
A society that values gender equity is one where men and women can thrive without being boxed into outdated roles. Challenging systemic reinforcement of toxic norms benefits everyone.
Conclusion
Toxic masculinity isn’t just an issue revolving around men only, though it’s a societal problem that affects everyone around. It is not about shaming men; rather it’s about offering freedom. Giving them freedom from the expectations which box them in.
Let’s start by having these conversations, supporting one another, and building a world where being “a real man” simply means being human.
